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"
'Inspiration
and life are equivalent,' Agnes Martin says, and for her
that is true. Her life, her creative expression, is completely
aligned with her meditative practice of keeping the mind
open, 'free to be inspired.' "
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Teachers
and neighbors also influenced our self-concepts. Mrs. Waller,
the only elegant woman in our neighborhood of drunks, domestic
violence perpetrators, and unemployed meat-packers, consistently
told me that I acted just like, “a little lady,” and
every time she said that I went into my princess trance. If
that’s how she saw me, I thought, I really had the potential
to be a lady (translated, “be able to get the hell out
of this dead-end neighborhood”). Her gentle affirmations,
as much as anything else, motivated me to study my head off
and get on to college.
In
adolescence we are very much influenced by our peers. Everyone
wants to be a part of the “in-group,” accepted and
admired. Looking back, which group did you aspire to - the jocks,
the greasers, the stompers, prom queens, homemakers, nerds,
motorcycle molls, prepies? And
how long did it take to get over their influence? Or have you?
Let’s
not forget the influence of the communities and the societies
in which we grew up- and the sub-societies of religion, class,
and ethnicity. Think of which category influenced you the most.
For me it was class. If your skin was brown or black you lived
near the same area of town that the white working class lived
in and that meant we were all poor. Then there were the middle
class and the rich. We didn’t differentiate. Those kids
lived in Kensington Park, the Grossmont hills, and the beach
areas, like LaJolla. (This was San Diego in the 40’s and
50’s.) It was only when I got to college and graduate school
that I realized that people of color are more likely to be discriminated
against and therefore more oppressed by poverty. That knowledge
influenced my motivation to participate in the civil rights
movement in Los Angeles. Growing up “economically challenged”
also influenced the creation of values that led to a six year
career in social work counseling male prison parolees, teenage
gangs, drug addicts, and disadvantaged minority families before
going back to school for my Ph.D.
My
Irish-Catholic grandfather, a career navy NCO (non-commissioned
officer), joined the navy at the age of sixteen and was completely
self-educated. I never saw the man without a book (except during
the Friday night poker games). On Sunday afternoons, friends
used to drop by to hear Grandpa Tommy talk with enthusiasm and
excitement and emphatic gestures about the ancient Greeks, the
Roman Empire, or some other historical period he’d been
reading about. Education was the way to a better life, he said.
And contrary to the upper-class girls who went to college to
find a husband, my grandparents pointed out that you can’t
rely on a man- “Look what happened to your mother,”
they’d say. “Your father left her and now she has
to work long hours in a factory.” Grandpa Tommy gave me
100 pennies for every A and I would “tube” my pennies
and take them to the bank. School was obviously the golden door
to freedom and to riches.
On
one of the intelligence assessments for children there’s
a question about staying away from “bad” people. The
correct answers suggest that even at an early age we can know
that some people might have a hurtful influence on us and others
a positive influence. As we mature, our self-esteem dictates
that we choose friends and mentors who influence us to be our
most expressive, creative and loving. And of course, conscious
choice becomes more possible in adulthood. Choice then is the
key word.
Eighty-eight
year old Agnes Martin is one of the foremost abstract artists
in the world today. She still works in her studio in Taos, New
Mexico, and when I interviewed her for my book, the question
I was most eager to ask was, “Who had the greatest influence
on your painting?” Her answer was a flat, “I don’t
believe in influence.” Agnes Martin told me she believes
in Inspiration. “Inspiration and life are equivalent,”
she says, and for her that is true. Her life, her creative expression,
is completely aligned with her meditative practice of keeping
the mind open, “free to be inspired.”
Those
of us who have a more interactive life out in the world can
still benefit from Agnes Martin’s example of choice. We
must simply be discerning about those we allow to influence
us. We must choose as confidantes and consultants only those
who are skilled to advise us and clearly devoted to our well-being.
Like
Agnes Martin, we can also recognize the power of our own inner
Wisdom. Every one of us has deep unconscious resources we can
access through our dreams and daydreams. Allow yourself to be
influenced by your own Inner Guidance. Start a dream journal
and after you’ve recorded a dream in the morning, meditate
and see what insight and direction the dream is bringing to
you.
You
might also like to embrace your Inner Wisdom through the practice
of your spiritual beliefs by recognizing the gifts of Divine
Intelligence. Like Agnes Martin, I believe that all intuition,
inspiration, and insight is a part of a transcendent energy
Source we call by different names. At the end of my morning
meditation I always go into prayer for myself and others, and
whether I pray to Mother- Father- God, Jesus, Mary, the Great
Cosmic Mother, or my favorite Goddesses, Tara or Kuan Yin, I
always receive responses of support, compassion, clarity, and
love.
I
would say that this spiritual connection is now the most prominent
influence in my life.
