Helen
Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Some
of us, during particular life transitions, would opt for nothing
- a little nothingness, a drop in the adrenaline, a simple diminution
of stimuli, or as one of my friends says at times of chaos, "I need
to just sit on my bed and suck my thumb." We long for time to emotionally
regroup.
The
"daring adventure" which is our life, is marked by cycles of change:
of loss and reconnection, of dependency and individuation, of deep
grief and realizations of renewed growth. Our "hero's journey,"
as Joseph Campbell taught us, is a process that guides, directs,
pushes, pulls, and ultimately transforms us from innocent children
to wise (or hopefully mature) adults.
Psychologically,
life transitions call us to transform the energy of the ego from
childlike ways of expecting the world to take care of us. We are
tasked with facing and killing the dragons of defense, our early
playmates, who taught us to deny fright and wrongdoing, rationalize
deviousness, repress our negative thoughts, and project our less
than lofty impulses onto others. Repeatedly facing down the small
to the deadliest fears rebirths us as warriors, able to protect
and nurture ourselves as we grow strong enough to recognize, adapt,
and finally to enjoy completely new terrain.
|
"Life
is either a daring
adventure or nothing."
|
Campbell
tells us that we always have supernatural aid along the journey,
so hang onto that belief in guardian angels. No matter in what
form they appear- in my life they tend to appear as good friends
turning up at crucial times with crucial insights, like a Tinkerbell,
focusing my attention on how to handle the crisis of the moment.
Once when I was in unbearable pain, another more "standard" angel
friend dressed in gossamer white, took me to an icy kingdom which
numbed my body into a blessed sleep.
Angelic
friends are folks you can cry in front of. Sometimes before we take
on the dragons, we have to fall apart and weep, say we can't possibly
do it, we can't bear it, we didn't even think we'd signed up for
this particular trip. And our friends hold us and soothe us and
remind us of who we really are. . . wonderfully intelligent women,
filled with the goddess, ready to take our rightful place at the
very center of our lives. As one woman said, struggling through
her divorce, "I'm taking back my power, my money, and my magic."
The
benefit from every life transition, small or large, is a transformation
of consciousness, and this happens in three says: through Awareness,
Acceptance, and Action. Three A's. When we survive and complete
our journey we have a more expansive awareness of our values and
our self in relation to the world. We come to accept ourselves,
our shortcomings, our skills and our gifts, as well as our current
life situation. And finally we discover greater courage to take
appropriate action toward our goals.
Dr.
Gail Feldman is a clinical psychologist, award-winning author,
and enthusiastic public speaker. Her most recent book, Releasing
the Goddess Within, coauthored with Katherine Gleason,
is now available Her classic, From Crisis to Creativity:
Taking Advantage of Adversity, has been published
in an updated edition in London by TimeWarner. She is also trained
in hypnotherapy, regression therapy, and eye movement desensitization
and reporcessing (EDMR).
About
Dr. Feldman
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© Gail Carr
Feldman, PhD
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